Falling for Forever Read online

  Finally, she came to the spot she was looking for: a small nook along the river. It had been where she had tried to read and write. And from where she and Rishi had spotted Mariah practicing with her sword. Bryn sat down gently among the tangled roots of the old tree. She pulled Mariah down beside her. Her eyes met Mariah's in the darkness.

  "May I ask about her?" Bryn said, her voice barely audible.

  "Jasmine?" Mariah asked quietly. Bryn nodded and snuggled in next to her, her eyes shifting to the blackness of the river. "She was a proud woman who loved animals, especially dragons. She was kind to people but could have a harsh temper every now and again. As I said, we really weren't lovers, but she was a warm companion. In my job, I had to do a few things I was not particularly proud of, but she would always be there, not to offer forgiveness but to simply sit next to me while I stared at the stars. I suppose I do not know much more of her; we both had our own lives."

  Bryn wanted to ask what things she was forced to do but thought better of it. Part of her was strangely angry at this woman for being with Mariah before her, but there was nothing that could be done about it now. She hugged her knees to her chest and sighed. Mariah's past history shouldn't have mattered to her. It never did before. But then again, she had never felt this way about someone before. "How long were you married?" she asked. It made no difference really, but she wanted to know.

  Bryn rested her head on her knees and continued to stare blankly at the river. The night was warm, and she found herself wishing for the cool comfort that the water would provide.

  Mariah stared into the clouds for a moment in contemplation. "It was a long time ago, so I am not quite sure to the day, but I would say it was about two cycles of the seasons. I really did not spend much time with her in that time, perhaps an hour or two every day until I had to return to my duties. Please do not think badly of her, Bryn. She was a good friend in her way, but lover she was not."

  Bryn nodded softly and relaxed a little. She felt better knowing that they weren't together in the way she had originally thought. Her mind traveled to the dress Mariah had let her wear. It was Jasmine's, she was sure of it. The style was outdated, which might mean that they were married quite a few years ago. She liked that explanation. Mariah was rich. She wouldn't have allowed any wife of hers, lover or not, to run around in an outdated dress.

  "I know that the dress was hers," she found herself saying. "Was the brush hers too?" Mariah had acted strangely when she had used it. She was sure that it belonged to her.

  Mariah smiled happily at her questions and began to answer. "Yes, it was hers. You both have a very similar way of flipping your hair and humming as you brush. You would have liked her, Bryn. At least you both seem to have the same innocent glow and joyful demeanor. I really regret not getting to know her better; I hope I do not make the same mistake with you."

  "I know that I can't be her, but could you find room in your heart for me?" Bryn asked quietly as she held her eyes. The question needed no answer. She already knew it. Mariah had admitted her love for her, and that gave her a place in Mariah's heart. No one had ever told her that they cared so deeply for her and meant it as much as she seemed to. Mariah was being kind when she called her innocent. She was far from it in truth, but she still enjoyed her compliment. All jealousy had melted away. Mariah and Jasmine had been friends, good friends. And that was all. Bryn no longer cared that this other woman had been Mariah's friend before her. Mariah had probably had many female friends. None that she had been married to, of course, but that didn't matter. It wasn't a conventional marriage, and that was the only thing that had made her jealous to begin with.

  An idea came to her. It was an idea like nothing she had ever considered before, but something inside of her was telling her that she should go through with it. As her resolve hardened, she tugged on Mariah's white sleeve, pulling her to her feet. She silently motioned her to follow.

  Bryn vaguely remembered a conversation that she had had with Rishi. The dragon was talking about a waterfall along the river, Bryn remembered that much. She walked alongside the river, keeping as close as possible to the sandy bank. Rishi had said that she might miss it if she wasn't careful. So Bryn was cautious and took her time, especially around the gnarled roots that seemed to be everywhere. Mariah stayed close beside her, often steadying her when she would lose her balance. The path, if it could even be called one, was narrow and twisted often. Rishi had said it would take her some time to find the waterfall. It wasn't the distance that took so long, but rather it was the sudden detours away from the river and navigating her way through the thick underbrush in the dark with barely any moonlight to guide her.

  Once in a while, she looked over her shoulder to make sure Mariah was still there. She always was. Mariah even looked comfortable in the forest, although it was nighttime. She had to keep reminding herself that Mariah probably knew these woods well and had most likely been to the waterfall many times.

  She wasn't used to the complicated terrain, and so each step needed to be navigated carefully. Her life had been spent on floors of stone, or more commonly, wood. Every so often, her feet would touch grass, but never to the extent that she had enjoyed with Mariah.

  Bryn took her time, not wanting to seem as eager as she was. Mariah was silent behind her. She liked Mariah that way, for the moment at least. If Mariah said the wrong thing, she might lose her nerve and turn back, and that would be the end of it. She didn't want the night to finish like that. If she didn't do this now, she might never have the courage to again. And so she pressed on.

  She heard the waterfall before she could see it. As the sound of it grew louder, she knew that she was almost upon it. And as the trees cleared, she suddenly was. The waterfall was in the open without trees to cover it. This allowed the moon to cast a pale, eerie light on everything around them. Bryn stared in open awe for a few moments before regaining her senses and moving to the rock formation that served as the entrance to the cavern behind the waterfall.

  Bryn was careful as she pressed her body against the rocks. Rishi had told her which were dry and where to step to avoid falling in the river. The Strytas hoped she could remember her advice now that she needed it. When they had been talking, she had only been half listening at the most. She had no use for a waterfall after all. But it had presented an inviting opportunity, just as Rishi had said it would.

  She managed to slip behind the waterfall without getting wet. Mariah followed silently behind her. Their eyes met in the darkness of the cavern, the mist swirling around them. The noise from the waterfall became a soft murmur as she took her hands in hers and moved toward him.

  "Mariah." She ran one hand down her sleeve, the soft fabric yielding gently under her touch. Her breath was hot against the nape of her neck. "Make love to me," she pleaded. Her aching need for her was obvious.

  Bryn took a step toward Mariah and wrapped her arms around her waist. Her fingers entwined against the back of her neck as she stared longingly into her pale blue eyes. She could get lost in her eyes, and she wasn't entirely sure she didn't want to. Her heart was racing in her chest as she leaned toward her and pressed her lips to Mariah's.

  When they recovered from the kiss, Mariah closed her eyes and thought for a moment. "Bryn, I love you so much. You are the most special person in the world to me." She looped her arms under hers and embraced Bryn closely. Mariah released her and slowly took her hand into hers and looked deeply into her soft eyes. "Your offer is the kindest anyone has ever given me, and even though accepting it would make me extremely happy, I cannot. I cannot in good conscience allow you to go through with your offer because I am not sure if you are really ready to. Franklin did terrible things to you, Bryn, and I never want you to see me in that light. Besides, I want you to know everything about me before we ever lay together, for you really deserve to. I am sorry to say that I cannot reveal all about myself to you this day, but I promise that soon I will, and then I will allow you to make your decision."


  Mariah gave her a soft kiss on the lips and again took her into her arms. "I love you, and I know that will never change, but your opinion of me may. For now, would you do me the greatest pleasure and rest aside me this night? The stars and moon radiate beauty, though theirs pale in comparison to you, not only the beauty of your face but the beauty of your heart."

  Bryn smiled, but could only nod, too close to tears to speak. Her wings folded across her chest. As she looked from Mariah to the waterfall, her eyes were wet. Never before had anyone said no to her. It was the first time she had wanted a woman's company, and Mariah had denied her.

  "Do you really love me?" she asked in a broken whisper. Her chest heaved with every breath as she stared blankly into the waterfall. The stars were just visible beyond its shimmer. A single tear cascaded down her pale cheek. She made no effort to brush it away.

  Mariah leaned over and whispered into her delicate ear, "Bryn, never could it be said that I loved any as much as I love you. Not the trees of my forest, the elves or the morning sun can withstand your radiant beauty. Your kindness has the power to quench the chilled darkness of the underworld, and your passion ignites flames that burn in my heart. I love you, Bryn, and not even the creator of this world has the power to change that."

  Bryn's gaze shot to Mariah. "Then kiss me like you do," she demanded.

  Mariah reached out her hand and cupped her delicate cheek. She pressed her lips to hers, and Bryn was amazed by the sweet taste that flooded her mouth. The kiss was soft and gentle but filled with passion that inflamed both of their hearts.

  As Mariah pulled away, Bryn found herself staring once again into those pale eyes of hers. The moonlight made them seem even lighter, almost unreal. They took her breath away before she had even found it again. She brought a trembling fingertip to her lips and smiled. "I will lay beside you tonight and nothing more, if that is still your wish," Bryn told Mariah as she forced herself to look away. Bryn lay down on the smooth stone beside Mariah and spread her dress around her legs.

  Mariah removed her black cloak and draped it over the body of the Strytas and soon fell asleep in a state of complete ecstasy.

  Chapter Ten

  Bryn opened her eyes slowly, unsure at first of where she was. Strong arms were wrapped around her. As she inhaled the woman's scent, she knew exactly who it was that held her. If she could, she would have chosen to lie next to Mariah forever. But her body already ached for the new day. She had never been one to stay still for very long.

  Mariah's breath was warm on Bryn's cheek as she slipped out of her arms. She took her time, moving as slowly as possible so as not to wake her. She pulled her wings from around her body and rose to her feet. She had never put her wings around anyone else, not even Sage. It was the most intimate thing she knew of, and the only thing she had been able to save for Mariah. As she pulled her skirt around her legs, she kneeled down next to her. Mariah's breathing was deep and rhythmic. She was still sound asleep. Bryn brought a delicate finger to her chin and traced her jaw. Mariah's skin glowed in the early morning light. She would have liked to let her hand linger, but she didn't want to wake her. Mariah deserved her rest; there was time enough for all that later. Bryn brought her lips to hers for an instant before disappearing through the waterfall.

  She walked slowly alongside the river, humming to herself as she went. The only other sound was the contented rush of the river. Even it seemed to be content to move at a lazier pace this morning. The sandy riverbank was cool against her bare feet. Although the sun was no more than a whisper through the black night, it was already warm. Bryn leaned against one of the large oak trees and watched the rising sun as it touched the treetops across the field. She watched silently as the purples turned to orange, and then to yellow, and finally to a soft gold that seemed to blanket everything in light.

  As the sun continued to rise, she walked across the field, dew clinging to her legs and dress. She could see Blackberry at the edge of the field. His black coat stood in stark contrast to the bright light, but he looked no less beautiful for it.

  She moved toward him, her hands at her sides so as not to frighten him. Blackberry lifted his head to glance at her. Bryn whistled to him, hoping that he would come to her. But after he made no attempt to do as she wanted, she sat down next to him in the tall grass. He was grazing, as usual. She had seen him do little else since she bought him. He looked at her briefly before returning to his meal. "What are you doing here?" he asked gruffly.

  "Watching you. Do you mind?"

  "Yes," he snorted.

  "Is anything wrong, Blackberry?" Bryn asked softly as she moved closer to him. He shook his head, his long black mane flying around his face. "Don't lie to me," she scolded softly.

  "I do not enjoy being tame," he said.

  Her face twisted into a scowl. "You are hardly tame here. And there are worse fates than this," she replied.

  "Name one then, little Strytas."

  Bryn crossed her arms over her chest. "I could beat you." She didn't know why she had said it. Bryn began to quickly apologize, but his broad grin stopped her in mid-speech.

  The stallion neighed in laughter. "No, you couldn't."

  Blackberry was openly mocking her. All thoughts of remorse aside, her face flushed red and her hands balled into tight fists. "No, I couldn't. But I don't see why I can't at least be near you."

  Blackberry's expression softened slightly as he gazed down at her. "You may stay, but you will not touch me," he told her. Bryn nodded. For him, this was a big step and she dared not test his patience.

  He turned toward her and eyed her gently. "You wouldn't know the first thing about beating something. Why in the world would you threaten me with it?"

  Bryn looked away from him. "I know enough," came her meek reply. After a few long moments of silence, she spoke again. "What's grass taste like?" she asked absently, hoping to change the subject.

  Blackberry shrugged. "Like any other plant, I suppose."

  "Oh," she replied. Bryn took a blade and began chewing on it. She kept her face still, hoping to hide her displeasure. Although the grass was sweet and moist, it was still just grass, and no amount of encouragement would make her think otherwise.

  Blackberry laughed softly. "You aren't supposed to eat it. Only animals like horses and cows and others. Your body isn't made for it."

  She looked up at him and nodded. "I don't know what Strytas are supposed to eat. I hadn't ever tried grass before, so I wanted to see if that was a possibility. It isn't."

  "You don't know what you are supposed to eat?"

  Bryn shook her head.

  "Then how have you been eating so far?"

  She shrugged. "Some things taste okay, I guess. There are some things I even like eating. Most just make me feel full for a few hours. There's nothing that I really enjoy."

  Blackberry nodded. "Horses are fortunate in that. We know what we are supposed to eat. And we know what is expected of us, for the most part at least."

  "I used to know what was expected of me. But now, I'm not so sure," she said quietly.

  "Do you ask this many questions of Mariah?"

  Bryn's cheeks flushed red. "Not anymore. She doesn't seem to like it very much when I do. So I try not to."

  "That's probably wise," Blackberry said as he moved to another fresh patch of grass.

  She nodded and rose to her feet. "Thank you, Blackberry, for letting me spend some time with you." He gave her a soft neigh and continued grazing. Bryn walked toward the cabin in a slow daze. Blackberry was right: horses were fortunate. She longed for Mariah to tell her what to do, even if it was cooking or cleaning. At least then, she would know what Mariah wanted from her.

  The cabin was quiet when she got there. She hadn't seen Mariah go across the field, so she assumed that he was probably still asleep behind the waterfall. Although the stone had been smooth and comfortable, her muscles still ached for a warm bath. Bryn's feet sank deeply into the peach rug of the bedroom as she crossed it. N
ear the bed, the floor felt different. She walked over the spot again, slower this time. There was a strange dip in the floor that she hadn't noticed before. Bryn peeled back the rug enough to reveal the spot. There, halfway under the bed, was a trapdoor in the floor. She looked around for Mariah but didn't see her. She didn't hear her either. Her mind told her not to open the door, but her curiosity was louder and more persistent. Besides, she only wanted to have a look. If she was careful and fast, then she could see what was under the bedroom before Mariah would ever know that she was down there.

  The trapdoor opened silently on well-oiled hinges. A solid oak ladder led down into a dark room. Bryn tentatively stuck her head through the opening before going down the ladder. Her eyes took only a second to adjust to the dim torchlight of the chamber. The walls were lined with bookcases filled with objects of all sorts and sizes. A few she recognized, most she didn't. Bryn ran her hand over a small glass jar before a bag caught her attention. She walked over to it and picked it up. It was only about the size of her palm and made out of a dark cloth. It wasn't leather like the Mariah's other bags. And it didn't feel like coins either. It was almost like a powder, but it felt too light for it to be filled with sand or dirt. Bryn opened it slowly and reached a finger inside.

  The powder was warm, but more than that it seemed soft and gentle, like a mother singing to a newborn or a ray of sunlight. Then Bryn knew what it was. She pulled her fingers out slowly so as not to spill any of the precious powder. The tips of her fingers glittered with the golden powder. She licked one of them, just to be sure. The powder coated her tongue and warmed her body. Her skin began to glow with a soft golden hue. There was no mistaking the powder's origin.

  " Yarrow…" she softly said softly as her eyes began brimming with tears. She cinched the bag and placed it back on the shelf. There was only a small amount left, but even that was worth a fortune, and she didn't want any to spill out. Bryn licked the rest of her fingers off and sat down on the stone floor, awaiting the rapture that would come.