For the Asking Read online

  For the Asking

  By Caitlin Ricci

  College student Milo Brickman is in a bind as he tries to figure out how he’s supposed to afford a master’s degree. His best friend points him to an ad looking for guys to star in light kink scenes. It’s good money and his friend has worked for the company before, so Milo gives it a shot. On the job, Milo meets porn veteran Sullivan Craine, who Milo falls for—hard.

  When Milo and Sullivan are thrown together for a scene all about denying Milo pleasure, Milo is desperate for more by the time the director yells, “Wrap!” Convincing Sullivan he’s okay with a boyfriend who is not only much older than him, but who’s made a career in porn, is a tough sell—but one that Milo is determined to make.

  Cute outgoing guys 18-25 wanted for light kink scenes. Pay is good with room to make a lot more. Apply in person this Saturday at 324B Kalamath Road from noon to 5.

  “IS THIS seriously what you just had to show me?” I asked my best friend, Martin, as I glanced up from my laptop screen to see him smiling at me over the table. “This… ad?”

  Martin’s tired expression lightened into a full-on grin. He’d stayed up all night studying for midterms, and it showed in the hazy look in his eyes and how he was on his fifth cup of coffee of the morning and it wasn’t even ten o’clock yet. “It’s great, isn’t it? The same company I’ve been working for finally has an open audition. It’s just what you’ve been needing.”

  I looked back at the screen and wondered what he could be seeing in the ad that I was clearly missing. “Huh?”

  Martin shook his head at me, looking somewhere between disappointed and just too tired to care anymore. But maybe that was how I was feeling instead, and I was just pushing it onto him. I was barely passing my psychology class, so I couldn’t be sure of my guess with all the other bullshit floating around in my brain at the moment. Midterms sucked, and this year they were harder than usual for me. There would be no slacking off, barely studying, and showing up expecting to ace the tests for me this time around.

  “C’mon, Milo, don’t be like that. I’ve found you the perfect answer to your problem of how to pay for your master’s degree next semester.”

  I shook my head. I hated thinking about how I was going to cover that massive expense. First things first though and all, I needed a car to get me the hour into downtown where the school I’d been accepted was located. “How do you figure that?”

  Martin took a big drink of his coffee before putting it aside again. There was a candy bar next to the mug that he’d barely started eating. I’d already taken twice what he’d eaten from it for my breakfast, and I was starving because of it, but the campus cafe was too expensive for my extremely limited budget.

  Martin put aside the textbook that he’d been trying to look over and leaned forward over the library’s large desk. “Remember those credit cards I was complaining about last month?”

  “Sure. I mean, I guess I do.” Really I hadn’t paid all that much attention. Griping about the sorry state of our finances was a pretty common thing between us.

  “I paid them all off.”

  Now I was paying attention. “You owed thousands!” I hissed at him. We were both working part-time at the same department store, so I knew how much he made, and I was sure he hadn’t been able to save up enough to take care of that kind of debt so quickly. I barely made enough to pay my rent each month, and some months the utilities got paid late, especially at the beginning of each semester when I had to get new books.

  As he nodded, his smile grew bigger, and he looked just this side of wicked. I’d known him for long enough to know what kind of trouble that meant. “Yeah. And I made it all within a six-hour window of filming for them. Four grand, and all I had to do was get a little dirty.”

  “Four thousand dollars?” I couldn’t believe it. If I had that kind of money, I could get caught up on all my bills, pay my rent ahead for a few months, and just breathe for a while. But what I really needed that cash for would be a car and then school. I could put a down payment on an older car and then pay off at least a small part of a semester. It would be a good start at least. “What’d you have to do for that kind of cash?” The ad said light kink scenes, so I was picturing maybe a ball gag or something. I had zero experience with stuff like that.

  He put his elbows up on the table and gave me a wink. “Nothin’ much. Just some messy four-way stuff.” He acted as if it didn’t matter at all, as if that was a normal afternoon for him, when I knew otherwise. But maybe I didn’t know, since I’d never have been able to guess that he’d done what he’d just said.

  All right, so I’d been completely wrong. I took a moment to just stare at him. “You had sex with three guys in a video?”

  He laughed, and people turned to look at us because of how loud he was being. I turned bright red and put my head down, hoping to hide as much as possible. I didn’t want them all staring at me while I talked to Martin about being in porn. There were already rumors going around that we were together, none of which were true, and I was still trying to keep my sexuality a secret. Well, not really. More like I wasn’t advertising it to anyone or walking around with a shirt that had a big rainbow on it or anything like that. But people still talked, just like they always did. And the rumors were nothing fun.

  “Yeah, Milo, I took on three guys. It was amazing. I had so much fun, and it was really worth it. The company is good, and I started out with little scenes like the one they’re advertising. Then whenever they called, I kept saying yes to more stuff. If they paid me a lot I’d do anything for them.”

  I sighed and shook my head, feeling uneasy about this. “I know I wouldn’t be okay with that.”

  “Then don’t be. You don’t have to say yes to them. Just go talk to them. The main guy, Mr. Wades, is nice. You’ll see. He’s really professional, and as long as you’re a stand-up guy and don’t cause trouble with him or the crew, you’ll get along just fine. Promise.”

  He couldn’t promise anything, but I nodded anyway and decided that at least I’d go talk to them. Even if nothing happened, or I ran screaming from the building, I could say that I’d tried. I had known he was doing some adult stuff, but really, I hadn’t asked. I’d figured he’d done some nude modeling for art classes or something, since we’d talked about doing that once. I didn’t care that he did porn, just that he’d made as much as he said. I needed that kind of cash and wasn’t above getting dirty to get it.

  ON SATURDAY I took two buses and then walked half a mile to get to the brick townhouse on Kalamath. It was quarter to twelve, and I was glad I’d managed to be early despite one of the buses running late. I pulled my thick scarf looser around my neck so that I no longer felt like I was choking as I looked up at a perfectly ordinary house on a quiet street that sat on the edge of downtown. It was an expensive area and one I didn’t go to all that often.

  No one else was outside, and I wondered if anyone else would show up. In a way I hoped not. Then no one would see me coming here.

  “Are you coming in or not?”

  I looked up the concrete steps to see a man standing in the doorway, which had been closed only moments before. “Um. The ad said noon.”

  “Get inside anyway. It’s cold out here.”

  Nodding, I walked up the steps. It wasn’t all that bad out, in the high forties maybe, but without wind or snow to contend with, it didn’t feel too chilly at all actually. “I’m Mr. Wades,” he said as I came into the house. “You can follow me into this sitting room here if you’d like, and we can chat for a little while. Would you like anything? Coffee? Tea? Hot chocolate? There’s a brewer on the buffet table behind you. Feel free to help yourself.”

  “No thanks. I’m good. Can I take off my coat?”


  He nodded and sat down at a large white desk with fine engraving over the top of it. Though it was pretty to look at, I couldn’t imagine writing on it, since the design had made the whole surface uneven. “Yes, you may. Then please join me over here.”

  I took off my coat and scarf as quickly as I could, then hung them up on a brass coat rack I found standing in the corner. I hadn’t seen one of them in years, not since the group home I’d lived in as a teenager.

  “So, you think you’d like to be a movie star,” Mr. Wades said derisively as I sat down across from him and put my messenger bag down by my feet.

  I snorted, which earned me a small smile from him, and shook my head. “Not hardly. My friend, Martin Brower, said that he did some videos here and made a good chunk of money. I want to do a little too.”

  Mr. Wades nodded and shuffled some papers on his desk off to the side. “Ah yes, Martin. He’s one of our best. Are drugs your thing, then? Because you have to be clean to work for me.”

  “No. Not at all.”

  “Then why would you be interested in doing adult videos? You seem intelligent, you’re attractive, and I have no doubt that you could find stable employment on your own without taking your clothes off. So that begs the question of why you’d like to submit yourself to something like this.”

  It was a good question, and I had an answer for it that I hoped would satisfy his curiosity. “I don’t make enough at my job to pay for my master’s degree,” I told him honestly. He didn’t need to know all the details. At least I hoped that he wouldn’t ask for them.

  Mr. Wades nodded. “Good. That’s a reasonable answer, and as I’m assuming Martin has told you, there is good money to be made here. Now, here is a release form. Fill it out with your particulars, and I’ll be right back.”

  “That’s it?” I asked him as he got up from the desk. “I got the job?”

  He gave me a soft, rather sad little smile and shook his head. “Oh no. Not at all. You just passed enough to get to the interview. I don’t do that part. Fill out the paperwork, and I’ll send him in.”

  I didn’t get to ask who the him Mr. Wades was talking about was because he left me alone in the room a moment later with two sheets of paper and a pen in front of me. With a shrug I began filling them out with my name, age, height, weight, and the location of any tattoos I had, which was easy enough since I didn’t have any. I wanted some, at least two, but I had to be able to afford something more than ramen noodles for dinner first.

  I had just barely finished signing the release when the door opened again and someone much younger than Mr. Wades, and far more attractive, came into the room.

  “Hello. I’m Sullivan Craine. And you are?” He sat down across from me in the same chair Mr. Wades had been in, and I leaned forward to offer him my hand.

  “Milo Brickman. Hi.” He was gorgeous, with dark curly hair and high cheekbones.

  He took my hand, gave it a firm squeeze, and then released me again. His palm was warm, and despite the chill outside, he wore only a light T-shirt, nothing at all like the heavy sweater I had on.

  Once that was out of the way, he pulled the papers toward him, spun them around and looked things over while I sat quietly. “Do you get bored easily, Milo?” he surprised me by asking after barely a minute.

  I froze, before shrugging. “Um. No. Not really, I guess. Maybe. It depends on what I’m doing.”

  “Can you sit still for ten minutes and do absolutely nothing?” he continued without looking up at me.

  “I’ve never tried.” I felt stupid for not being able to answer something as simple as that and expected the next words out of his mouth to be an order to go ahead and get out of the house.

  Sullivan looked up and seemed to be considering me for a moment. “All right, then. Come over here and kneel next to me. You’re aiming for ten minutes here. There’s a pillow in the bottom left drawer of this desk that you can use. If you don’t move in all that time, you’ll get to do a scene. It pays one thousand dollars up front and in cash. Additionally you will receive a hundred dollars for being able to pass this little test. Does that sound good?”

  “A hundred bucks just for kneeling next to you and not moving for a while?” I asked him.

  He nodded.

  “And what would the scene be? So that I can see if I’d even be interested in doing it,” I continued. I had to cover all my bases.

  Sullivan smiled at me, and I felt a little more relaxed because of the softness I saw there in his expression. “It’s simple, really. And you’d even be able to keep your pants on. I enjoy playing with rope. I would tie each of your hands to a post on the bed upstairs. There would be two cameramen, one to take stills and the other to record everything. I would have my pants on as well, and I would play with you however I wanted to. Nothing lasting, no permanent damage to any part of you, and you could even wear a mask to keep your identity a secret, though if you chose to come back for another scene, I will warn you, however, that being anonymous isn’t always a possibility.”

  I blinked at him for a long moment. “You’d give me a thousand bucks to just lay on a bed and let you do stuff to me without my shirt on?”

  “Yes. And an additional hundred to sit next to me for ten minutes. Does that meet with your approval?”

  “No sex or anything like that?” I asked him, just to be really sure.

  He put his arms down on the desk. “Milo, this scene isn’t about sex. It’s about the need, and then denying it. I have an assignment from one of the biggest studios in this industry. They want to see me toy with someone, bring him to the brink of begging for pleasure, and then take it all away from him. If you want more to happen after the cameras are off, then that’s your choice, and I have played with men afterward if they were denied in the way you will be. You will be completely safe. Are you willing to try, to explore things more, or do you wish to go? I am a busy man, and we could have had this conversation with you on your knees already.”

  I hadn’t realized that, actually. “You mean I can talk while I’m kneeling?”

  Sullivan nodded to me and pulled a bottle of water from the desk. “Of course. I never said you had to be silent, just that you couldn’t move. If you are ready to begin, I suggest you take care of any needs now. There is a restroom back the way you came and to the left if you need to relieve yourself. Otherwise, please join me behind the desk.”

  I didn’t need to do any of that, so I got up and moved to stand by him. I was nervous but only because I wasn’t sure if I could get through this. He pulled out the pillow for me and tossed it to the ground by my feet. I crouched down, fluffed it a little until it seemed comfortable, and then knelt.

  “Are you ready?” he asked me.

  I nodded and focused on the silver-colored knobs of the desk in front of my face.

  “Good. Then your time begins now. You may speak, you may ask me any questions that you may have, and I will answer them the best that I can.”

  For what felt like a long time, but was probably two minutes, neither of us said anything.

  “How long have you done porn?” I asked him.

  “Fifteen years. I started at eighteen. You?”

  That was a long time to be doing this. I’d written down on the sheet that I’d never done this before, so I wasn’t sure why he was asking me. “I never have. Did I mark that down wrong?”

  He shook his head. “No. I was just checking to see if your answers would stay consistent. You have seven minutes and thirty-four seconds left. Try to stay focused, it may help you avoid accidentally moving.”

  Wow, the time was going by slowly. “Do you live here?”

  “This is a staging house. I live north of the city.”

  I nodded and listened to the voices outside the room. They all sounded like guys. “Do you do scenes with girls too?”

  “Not really. If the money is good, I will. I prefer not to. There are so many divas in this industry, regardless of gender, that I try to work with the people I’v
e known for a long time and who respect the process and don’t expect to be catered to endlessly.”

  He opened the top drawer of the desk right in front of my face but stopped it a good four inches before it could actually touch me. I watched him pull out of a couple of chocolates and instantly craved one. I’d been so nervous that I’d skipped breakfast, which was starting to become an issue for me since I was already skinny. “Want one?” he asked me after a long moment. He’d already taken one for himself.

  “Yes, but how would I take it without moving?” I didn’t want to risk it being a trick and having a piece of chocolate when I could have had a hundred bucks.

  I couldn’t turn my head, but I could move my eyes, and as far as I could see, he didn’t look down at me as he dropped his hand and put the other piece of chocolate in front of my face. “Open your mouth,” he told me. I did, and he slipped the candy between my lips.

  “Good?” he asked me.

  I savored the rich flavor for as long as I could, before the smooth chocolate melted on my tongue. “Yes.”

  “Mr. Wades keeps an excellent stash. Let me know if you would like another. They’re yours for the asking.”

  I smiled a little, thinking he was a bit odd. “Don’t you mean that they’re mine for the taking?”

  “No, not quite. You see, if you could take them, then you’d be disobeying and would lose out on the money. You may ask for something, but you may not take it. By agreeing to be still, you’ve given up your power and must ask for something.”

  “Huh.” I hadn’t exactly thought of it like that, but now that I was, I could see that he was right. “So if I asked you to scratch my nose for me because it itches?”

  Sullivan chuckled, and I broadened my smile. “Then I would do that for you. Anything you needed right now, aside from you getting up, I would do. That’s why I’m here and not just watching you through our video monitoring system to see if you move. Does your nose itch, then?”

  “No, but I’ll let you know if that changes.”